The Texter

Texting. Ahhh texting. The next great wave of techie communication. Or is it?

I recently took an informal poll of my closest friends to see what they thought about “texting as a viable communication tool during dating”. Interestingly enough the women thought it was not very personal…whereas the men polled thought it was perfectly acceptable.

Don’t get me wrong, I like texting. I like texting as much as the next person does…in fact I liked it so much during the month of July that I had a $250 phone bill. Ouch! But its usefulness is really only good for quick messages.

For example:
Where are you?
What is your ETA?
Meeting where?
What time?
Order you a beer?
Score: OSU 70/ OU 6

Get the picture? Great for short bursts of information exchange…bad for actual communication.
Which leads me to the point of this blog. Recently a young lady, near and dear to me (we’ll call her Trish), became interested in a gentleman. All seemed great! He was older, somewhat mature, well employed, likes the correct football teams, and enjoys canine company. According to Trish, all signals indicated a mutual interest.

And then it started. Instead of email, or phone calls he began texting. Not at all hours of the night or too often during the day…but just in general…texting. He (who we’ll call The Texter) was using text messaging as the only line of communication with Trish.

Texting is great when used with other forms of communication. When paired with a well written email or well timed phone call it can easily enhance the “get to know ya” experience.

However, when used by itself it gives the feeling of detachment and/or disinterest. A man who uses texting alone appears to be non-committal. And not in a good “I’m playing hard to get” sort of way. But rather in a “you don’t rate high enough on my list of priorities today to bother with emailing or calling you” sort of way.

What is interesting is that one of my poll responders stated…”In today’s technological age, that's not too uncommon, it’s just a different form of communication…and one that works well for me. Worked well enough to get my current girlfriend who is a super badass.”

Interestingly enough, said “badass” has now ditched him for greener pastures. Could be the unemployed thing working against him…or could be that he’s kind of a cocky jerk…but nevertheless it clearly wasn’t working as well as he thought it was.

My point? I’m getting to it…stay with me here. My point being, that in today’s age, are we becoming less and less communicative? Are we losing a vital part of what sets us apart from the apes? Is text messaging taking our beautiful language and reducing it to a series of nonsensical monosyllabic grunts?

And if so…what does that say about our communication within relationships? Is it no wonder that divorce is still on the rise as technology increases? Are we losing that vital sense of communication being “personal”? To truly know the meaning behind the words…don’t we need to hear the inflection of the voice?

A word to the wise…for all you men out there, like The Texter, ”women cannot live on texting alone”. We need more of a commitment from you. Commit to a 10 minute email. Or, God forbid, a 10 minute phone call. Chances are…you’re not going to catch us anyway, and when you leave a message…the proverbial ball is in our court. And isn’t that what you’re after anyway?